To my therapist, Ryan. Explaining my teshuvah and return to being more observant.


I tried to send this message through the My Chart email system, but it wouldn’t let me, stating that my email was only allowed 5000 characters and I typed 11,607 characters! lol

Of course your identity is not revealed here so I thought it good to just post the letter to you here giving you a complete answer to your question today in our therapy session I was not able to answer fully do to the time crunch created by me being late for our session. So,without further adieu…


Since our session today I had been wondering about your question about what brought about my recent deepening of faith….

You know most of us of faith go about our daily lives knowing our Messiah’s promise that He would one day return and we are told to go about our daily lives and “occupy until He comes”. When president Trump created his Israeli/Palestinian peace deal ( ) I knew from my years of prophecy study and teaching that this is the prophesied covenant made that would be broken that will be the catalyst that marks the beginning of the last 7 years called, “The Tribulation” before the return of the Messiah Yahusha. I guess that is what got me refreshed in my faith again because that peace deal could be accepted any day by the Palestinians and the moment it is that opens the door for Messiah to rapture His “wise virgin bride” to heaven while the “foolish virgins with no oil in their lamps” are left behind. You see, Ryan, Yahusha was very clear in His teaching with three parables that taught the same thing. Basically, this parable of the 10 virgins and the lamps was a clear teaching that at the time of His coming there would be TWO DUELING BRIDES ON THE EARTH. The “wise virgin bride” would be the remnant who kept their lamps full of the oil of Torah truth, that the Law was not dead, we still must obey, but the “era of Grace” we are under means Yahusha was out final and ultimate blood atonement for sin and through that atonement we receive we are extended a special grace that if we sin we only must confess our sin and ask for forgiveness and we receive it by the grace of Yahusha’s final blood atonement that ended the animal sacrificial system . Grace does not give us license to sin as everything we say and so is still accounted for and sin’s committed after our initial salvation still must be “brought under the blood” through teshuvah (Hebrew word for repentance). The foolish virgins of the parable were not prepared by keeping their lamps full of oil and when the trumpet alarm was sounded that the bridegroom was on His way to collect His Bride the unprepared foolish virgins asked the wise virgins for some of their oil for their lamps there were about to go out. The wise virgins did not want their lamps to get low on oil and go out and miss the bridegrooms coming so they told the foolish virgins no and advised them to go and buy some oil from those who sell oil. The foolish virgins went to buy oil and while they were gone the bridegroom (Messiah Yahusha) came and raptured his Bride away to the wedding. When the foolish virgins returned to find He’d come and gone they traveled to the house of the bridegroom to knock at the door to be let in, but were told, “I do not know you” and the door was closed in their face. This “I do not know you” rebuke and refusal in this parable is the same as the other warning parable of Yahusha where Yahusha said, “Many will come to me in that day saying Lord, Lord, didn’t we do miracles in your name, etc., etc., and Yahusha said unto them, ‘Go away from me ye workers of iniquity (Lawlessness). I never knew you!”
These parables make it very clear that the two dueling brides from the parable that the 5 wise virgins kept the Law of Torah as their full lamps signified. The 5 foolish virgins lamps were low on oil which represents the Catholic/Christian church world that teaches falsely against scripture that they don’t have to keep the 613 Laws of the Torah anymore, only maybe the 10 Commandments (representing Low oil lamps). You see, ancient Rome accomplished a hostile takeover of the original apostolic message and faith of the Messianic Jews along with the grafted in gentile who became Jews by faith. Wicked pagan Rome bastardized the faith basically, making it worthless with their replacement theology they promoted that the Jews were no longer the Chosen People, but now the new Catholic/Christians were the chosen people. The book of revelation calls this abomination The Whore of Babylon and her Harlot daughters ( Catholic/Christian = Whore/Harlots). All of the Christian churches are merely the the wayward protestant Harlot Daughters of the Catholic Whore of Babylon anti-Christ system which the book of Revelation says will be burned with fire. When I saw Notre Dame Cathedral burning to the ground in April of 2019 that is all I could think of was another prophecy being fulfilled. I guess that was another event that got my spirit stirred up.

So, I hope that answers your question from today. Sorry, I wasn’t able to recall instantly what brought this revival of my faith about. I guess it’s just been a gradual thing. I think sometimes we put our faith on the back burner as we get too overly occupied in the struggles of life and I know Yahusha understands the chaos my life became it was nearly destroyed in 2015 with that whole disaster in France that brought about my homeless status. It seems like it’s been so much longer than 5 years since that day of destruction in August 2015 as it has only now been since this year that I feel I am finally feeling secure again in a home that will not be taken away from me, but the devil ain’t through trying to attack that situation yet cause you know that me currently living as female is a direct result of trying to hide from the management of the park here that is trying to evict me. Now that Tom and I learned just last week that something as simple as filing an application of Domestic Partnership with the State of California that will prevent the management of the park from evicting me I feel I am caught in a bit of a strange predicament–how do I explain to my neighbors who don’t know all the details? I have no need to continue presenting as female and I desire to return to living “as” male. It’s not that big of an issue though, as I have explained to you… I have long since made peace with my hermaphrodite intersexed status and I am fully aware that a person’s soul has no sex or gender and the soul is there real me, the body being just a vehicle for the soul. It’s a chore living as female and following the standards of modesty for females of my faith, but through it all Yahusha is with me every step of they way teaching me great things as we walk this journey together. I don’t see the state of my gender presentation as a salvational issue, but I do know that because of the the medical things I told you today about the original reasoning behind removing the female parts to make me into a boy at 8 months of age was probably the best decision and I agree. Regardless of my gender dysphoria I experience from being someone born with an XO/XY intersexed chromosome pattern I see the logic and feel the tug to polarize myself to more of a male existence instead of female. Living as female feels spiritually more genuine, but the changes to my body that were created by testosterone lean towards living most successfully as male whether I like living as male or not. Living as a male who takes estrogen replacement therapy instead of testosterone is something I found to be the best treatment for my condition when I was living in Seattle in 2016. You see, all things work together for good for those who love our Heavenly Father. The Bible says this is so. It also says, “Those who He foreknew He predestined”. As I look back over the events of my life that brought me today I recognize it as a perfect plan for one of His little lost sheep to return to the fold. We live in a spiritual world we all do not understand very well. The Bible assures us we will understand it all better in time if we remain faithful and pursue “a closer walk with thee”, our Creator.

If by chance that the rapture happens this next weekend and I am found a worth “wise virgin with a lamp full of oil” that gets to go with Yahusha to Heaven I want you to know how much I have and do deeply appreciate you and the help you have given me. I think you have been the kindest therapist I’ve had of all the many therapists I’ve had which have been many since the age of 17 when I had my first suicidal episode that put me in the mental hospital. This next weekend beginning at sundown on September 18th is the new moon which begins a new moonth on the Hebrew calendar, the month of Tisheri where the Commanded 1st day of this month are to blow the ram’s horn trumpet. In hebrew this Commandment feast day is know as Yom Teruah” (Day of Blowing of the Trumpet). Ever since Yahusha the Messiah came the disbelieving rabbi’s of Judaism renamed this observance as Rosh Hashanah. If you look at most calendars that is what you will see for September 18th, but that was a attempt to cover-up what many understood that Yom Teruah may very well indeed be the time when Yahusha returns to rapture His Bride. In Jewish tradition the hour and day of a wedding is known to nobody but the father of the groom and he tells the son when to go and collect his bride and bring her too the wedding. Yom Teruah, the day of the blowing of the trumpet is the signal the father makes that announces to all that hear that the wedding is about to take place. I think I’ve explained enough. So, if I am no longer on this planet after next weekend you know where I have gone and if it is a place where you want to go to as well, you will need to repent of all sin and be baptised in the name of “Yahusha” because that is the Messiahs real name from Acts 4:11 that we are instructed to use in baptism according to Acts 2:38. Get a bible if you don’t have one and study all the 613 Laws of the Torah given to mankind to follow. Sin no more and keep your salvation even if you must endure the entire 7 year Tribulation period and even if the anti-Christ orders you behead for your testimony that Yahusha died for your sins and you are forgiven and belong to Him and not Satan the anti-christ. You will be beheaded probably for such a testimony and refusal to take the mark of the beast so you can buy and sell during the worst of the tribulation period, the last three years when anti-christ is gonna really clamp down on the people of faith. Stick to your guns. You may need to leave the cities and move out to the countryside to survive this period and avoid being beheaded, but know if you are rounded up and beheaded that allowing this to happen to you will also insure your salvation that you did not love your life to the end, but instead were willing to lay down your life for your faith in Yahusha who died for you and shed his blood to forgive you of your sin. I am personally hoping that He holds off from rapturing the His Bride for at least just one more year. I think there is still time for one more year of delay as we get down to the wire, so to speak. I also have prayed that if He does come to rapture the bride next weekend that He would approve my desire to be left behind on purpose so that I will be able to lead others to the truth during the last 7 years before this planet is burned to a crisp in the biggest forest fire ever seen where all the wicked will be destroyed and then the earth will be re-newed for the New Jerusalem to come down from Heaven so we can live and reign with King Yahusha for 1000 years before the White Throne Judgement takes place when Satan will finally be destroyed in the Lake of Fire Forever.

I know this was the long answer to your question and I thank you for wanting to know and it has been my pleasure to explain my actions.

Sincerely yours,
Yosef Ben David