HOW MY JEWISH ANCESTRY WAS HIDDEN
To document my family appropriately I imagine I should start with myself and work back? The first dark family secret that was revealed to me at age 13 when my mother was drunk and beating me was that the man I thought was my Father that she had divorced when I was 5 was not my real Father. She proceeded in drunkeness to take a break from beating me and then took me with her to the phone book and looked up the phone number for my biological Father. She found his parents phone number and called and spoke to his mother and revealed for the first time that she had secretly been pregnant when she divorced David, my Father. During her brief conversation my eyes were fixed on the open phone book page, with the family name, address, and phone number. I knew I could remember the name, but just in case I concentrated on memorizing the page number.
Of course, the standard operating procedure when you are dealing with an abusive alcoholic was to NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, mention the events that transpired when they were drunk or you’d have twice the hell to pay the next time they got drunk. This is who I learned how to become the good boy. As good as I was though it did not stop my mother from abusing and hating me from birth because she was so angry at my Father who actually left her because of her abusiveness.
For many years I held onto the memory of that night, and had eventually torn the page out of the phone book with his parents phone number and address on it. I kept it well hidden so that my mother would never find it and take it away from me. She had already taken my Father from me once and I wasn’t going to let her do it again.
Over the years I used to wonder about my dad. That’s all I could do. I used to daydream that I’d travel to his parent’s home where he lived, I’d found out later, and I’d knock at their door pretending to be a neighborhood boy who was looking for summer lawn mowing jobs. In my daydream my grandfather accepted, and I’d come to cut their lawn every week. The provided the mower, and my Father would often be the one to bring the lawn mower out of the garage and to whom I returned it to. In my daydream I imagined that I’d find him the garage doing some woodworking or something and his mother would bring out lemonaide. I’d stay for a while to get to know Mr. Kircher who was David my Father. Over the summer we’d grown close and he’d show me how to use his woodworking tools. One day he said to me, “If I had a son I’d like him to be just like you”. I thanked him and just grabbed him and gave him a hug. I know, it’s pretty sappy, right? Well, my daydream gets better lol. I replied to him a bit emotionally, “You’ve never been married and have no children?” He told me he’d been married a couple times, but divorced and had no children. Then with all the courage I had I asked him, “Were you ever married to a woman by the name of Virginia Lee Hall?” As the words fell from my lips I had began to tear up, he saw this and immediately his eyes were opened and he realized the obvious resemblance in my face because I looked so much like him. Yeah, so that was my fantasy. It was so much better than the horrifying reality I was living.
So, the man my Mother had lead me to believe was my Father for the first 13 years of my life that hurt me deeply when he left was not really my Father. My thoughts return immediately to the day he left and the pain that I felt as he abandoned me. Mother and him were arguing and he was collecting his personal items from the home. I watched in silent horror as he pulled books from the bookshelves, and placed them in a box and he told my Mother he was finished and was leaving. I ran head of him to the front door of our home and stretched out my 5-year-old arms to block the door as I pleaded, “No, Daddy, please don’t leave”. All I got from him in response was him saying, “Get out of my way boy”, and he shoved me aside and got in his car and left. That painful day was over 50 years ago, but I can still see it and feel it like it just happened. It left a mark on my psyche, abandonment by someone who was supposed to love me as his son. Of course, it wasn’t until 8 years later that I found out how he could have been so callous that day he left me there in tears.
Yeah, so lots of deception about my family from my very beginning. When I finally did gather the courage to reveal myself to my real Father when I was 25, he embraced me with loving arms and I feel very blessed to have gotten to know him and become close with him for 15 years before he passed away in 2005. Thankfully, getting to know him provided closure to a painful door that had caused me to feel abandoned when I was 5 by a man who turned out to not be worth my emotional trauma, so it was like a instant healing, but still those feelings are still there and accessible when I talk of the day my first stepfather left me. That little hurt 5-year-old boy still has an empty spot that was never filled by growing up with a loving father. Just a string of stepfather’s as my mother married three times after my Father.
On to the next ancestry deception…
I never got to know my maternal grandfather as he passed away when my Mother was 9 years old. All I knew of him was a photograph or two, along with a tale or two from my Grandmother, and we’d always go to decorate his grave the Rule Cemetery in Goshen, Kentucky which was only a few miles from where we lived in LaGrange, Kentucky. I was told that my Grandfather has passed away from complications from a lung injury he’d had from an auto accident 3 years prior to his death. When I began doing my ancestry research I found his death certificate and it had no mention of anything like my Grandmother had said. What I read on my Grandfather’s death certificate shocked me. Cause of death: Syphilis of the heart and brain. I can understand why my Grandmother made up a cover story. My first thoughts were omg, did my grandmother catch syphilis from him? How long had he had it? Did it effect the birth’s of my Mother, my Aunts, or Uncle? My grandmother did reveal to me that she’d had one miscarriage. Could this have been the last child she was pregnant with before my Grandfather passed in 1949. How terrible it was that he died just as penicillin had been found to be the cure for syphilis. Maybe this is who my Grandmother miscarried and then she was able to take advantage of the penicillin cure that came too late for my Grandfather? I remember my Grandmother telling that she lost the baby when she had fallen from a chair she was standing on to reach a top shelf of a closet….hmmmm… Me thinks I need to contact the owner of the land the cemetery is on and see if there are records of exactly when that baby was buried there.
As I was researching I also came across another Ancestry.com user that had my stepfather Charles Hall listed in their tree, and I was like, “Oh, who is this person? Maybe they are a member of his family and they might be able to tell me about my step grandparents death”. It turns out this woman named Laura Marx I contacted is my niece. She is the illegitimate daughter of my half brother that he never acknowledged even though she was the subject of many family arguments when she was born and as I was growing up. She thought her father was my half brother Henry, but he always said it was his brother John. In 1996 I had taken a trip to visit my half brother John and his wife in the Carolina’s. It was then that John spoke about the daughter he never claimed, but now had no idea how to find. My brother John died without ever meeting her. I’ve known the truth about Laura’s parentage since she was born. My Mother used to take me over to her mother’s home to see her and I remember the arguments that my Mother would get into over the paternity of Laura who my mother believed to be my brother Henry’s child. However, Henry always said, he pulled out and didn’t ejaculate in her “like a good Catholic”, his exact words. Both of my brother’s would have sex with Laura’s mother, Becky Hanes. I remember on morning going downstairs to talk to my brothers for some reason and when I opened their bedroom door there were all three of them naked on the King size bed together! I immediately shut the door and ran away. lol
While talking with Laura through Ancestry.com, my brother’s ex-wife Paula Zedayko became involved. Shortly after the birth of John’s son he left Paula because he told us she had been working as an escort through a pager behind his back. He and a friend set her up with a fake date for sex by contacting her on her pager. He said she was sure surprised when she walked into the bedroom ready to have sex with the man, and there my brother was sittin on the bed! She also later went to prison for a time for being caught being a drug dealer, cocaine. During this time we began talking trying to help Laura find out her true father, I was trying to get Paula’s son to agree to do a DNA test, not so Laura could prove she was related because a DNA test by her son’s daughter had already proved that and she is also DNA linked to me. I was trying to arrange family get-together of sorts in hopes of getting John Jr. to give his DNA so Laura might possibly find out who her family on my brother’s side is because their father was actually adopted and neither of my brother’s know anything about their biological father’s family. Well, I was about ready to make my flight plans as everything seemed to be coming together for this family reunion when Paula pulled a dirty little stunt. She went behind my back and traveled with her son to meet Laura without me. She always was a backstabber. She’s managed to place a wedge now between me and my niece, and her daughters because she wants Laura to think that Henry is her father and not John. Paula hardly even knew my brother the short time they were married, but she wants to act like she knows everything. She was not a part of my family and was never there for all the paternity arguments, and not aware of John’s admission of paternity. I’m just going on my own first hand knowledge that I witnessed and was told by both my brothers. What does it matter which one of my brothers is her father anyway. Both of them were/are losers. John is dead, and Henry is almost dead, and Henry is the one who sexually abused and beat me when I was a kid. Eventually, as a teen I put a stop to it and called the police on him. After that, he never touched me again and my Mother said if he did I had her permission to grab the first thing I could lay my hands on and bust his skull open. My mother felt Henry’s sexual and physical abuse of me was the reason I turned out the way I did, struggling with my gender and sexuality.
Meeting my long lost niece Laura Marx, and my grand nieces Hannah, and Haley Sanders became a big disappointment really fast. It seems G-d had a reason for keeping them all illegitimate. They are all into occult and demonic activities. I tried to show them Scripture about their situation, but they rejected G-d’s word. After they went to worship the filming site of a demonic tv show they like to watch I had to wash my hands of them because they became belligerent, insulting, and threatening. What should I have expected from people entrenched in a Satanic cult, but claim to be Christian? I still pray that they find the truth one day so they can get saved, but there isn’t much hope once someone gets as far from G-d as they are. It makes me feel very sad. They’d had a tough life. Haley followed in her Grandmother’s footsteps and had an illegitimate child out of wedlock. That poor kid. Some people can’t see what damage they are doing to their children, or they just don’t care. I think it’s probably the latter as someone who cared wouldn’t have been having sex outside of marriage anyway.
My maternal grandmother Mary Katherine Horstmann told me she didn’t know anything about her grandparents, but thought she’d seen a photograph once of her Grandmother whom she said was of Native American ancestry and had long black hair. I pressed her to know more, but she shut me down with, “I’m not looking at what’s behind me. I’m looking at what’s ahead of me.” I never thought much of it after that. Well, then April 2020 I began doing the ancestry tracing on Ancestry.com and I found everybody. Now I understood why my Grandmother had actually lied to me about not knowing anything about her mother’s people. The “dark” family secret was that her grandfather was a Mulatto born into slavery in 1852. Charles Judah Gaylord, Jr. married Susannah Mary (Shoshannah Miriam) Morrision, and their daughter, my great grandmother Emma Rachel Horstmann was documented as Black in 1890 along with all her siblings every decade on the United States Census.
<<<<<< CONSTRUCTION ZONE>>>>>>> THIS STORY TAKES A SUDDEN JUMP HERE BECAUSE I’M ADDING NEW INFORMATION TO THE PAGE. PLEASE FORGIVE. I’LL HAVE THINGS BACK IN THE FLOW SOON.
Lets begin with the most recent trouble maker of this family, a woman named Margaret Demuth who married my relative Hank Horstmann, son of Henry Horstman, Jr. whom was known to me as my Uncle Henry growing up, who was the brother of my grandmother Mary Katherine Horstmann and son to Emma Rachel Gaylord and Henry Horstmann, Sr. Margaret is in possession of a painting I did for my grandmother of her parents. Margaret thinks she is hurting me by not returning the painting which is of sentimental value as it has my grandmother’s essence on it, but she ain’t hurting me as G-d said, “Thou shalt not steal”. Let her have it and let it be a curse to her.
I wrote the following on Facebook to her, but she complained and had it taken down. She won’t have it taken down from here! LOL
Here is a partial screen grab of what Margaret had taken down and the full text I have transcribed below the photo:
“Margaret Horstman, you are not a descendant of the Gaylord’s or the Horstman’s, but you have a big mouth and think you have some right to speak on my family’s behalf, but you don’t. Just because you married Hank doesn’t mean diddly to this family. You’ve not been a blessing to this family. You are a thief as you are keeping my painting just to hurt me emotionally because it’s the only thing I would have that I made especially for my grandmother who is dead, who by the way hated you and she told me many stories about you I will not repeat, but from what she told me it’s no wonder you are keeping my painting by theft that you know has a very sentimental meaning to me as it still has my grandmother’s essence on it and my uncle Henry’s essence on it, two people who meant NOTHING TO YOU. You are just evil because you think it hurts me to keep my painting. Well, I’ll tell you something, my lawyer says she could force you to return it and cost you thousands in legal fee’s and she wouldn’t charge me a penny to do it because she really dislikes evil people like you who claim to be “Christian”, but are everything but a Christian…Christians do not take what is not their property and she said the judge would reverse the former judges decision to allow you to have it because it is my personal creative effort. I am the artist who created the painting. But I’ll tell you this…the sentimental feelings I have for my grandmother that are attached to my painting are locked in my heart, not that painting, and and I told my lawyer I would not purse suing you the return of my painting. The rabbi’s instructed me that because of your evil deed that a curse would be pronounced upon you and Hank and that’s good enough for me. The painting is now cursed so you just enjoy keeping it just to hurt me. It’s not gonna hurt me anymore. I’ve let it go. Enjoy it even though you are are not even a Horstmann, but simply a wicked woman, a “Jezebel” as my grandmother Mary Katherine Horstmann-Hall-Washburn used to refer to you as…. Enjoy your curse from G-d YHVH and His Son Yashua”.
This whole thing got started long before I came along. It all started with the Matriarch of the Horstmann Family, a slave born to my 3rd great grandfather Charles Gaylord. His half Black/half White son Charles Judah Gaylord, Jr. was a mulatto born into slavery in 1852. He married A Scottish woman of Jewish ancestry by the name of Susannah Mary (Shoshannah Miriam) Morrison and their daughter Emma Rachel Gaylord married Henry Horstmann and together they began my Horstmann family.
Margaret Demuth who married my grandmother’s nephew Hank Horstmann, son of Henry Horstmann Jr. is the trouble maker here. I wrote a facebook message to my cousin Tammie Horstmann, who by the grace of G-d did not become my wife. I went to church and high school with cousin Tammie who used to uncomfortably joke towards me that we are far enough apart to be married. Her grandfather who didn’t like her warned me about her going down a bad road and to steer clear of her, and my grandmother, his sister, told me the same thing. I wasn’t long after that Tammie has tried to make the moves on me sexually that she got out church and committing the sin of fornication got pregnant and G-d judged her for it by giving birth to an afflicted child who eventually died. The sins of the fathers…. the sins of the mother’s too!
Then along comes Mattie Horstmann-Davis who was another child born of fornication by another Horstmann woman that nobody in the family will own up to knowing who she was, but she had sex with Black man and out came Mattie looking too Black to keep so was abandoned and was taken in as a foster child by Teresa Davis. Me wonders if Teresa Davis could be a distant family relation to Ann Davis who was the grandmother of my grandfather Odes Hall???
Poor Mattie only wants to know where she comes from, but she is a girl who suffers from several mental disorders and no wonder having been rejected by her mother on the sole basis she was born looking Black instead of White.
Mattie is a very angry young woman who’s first contact with me on Ancestry.com was to tell me off about using the word “Negro” to describe my race and ancestry. She also derided me for the title of my book, The Dark Secret of the Horstmann Family: Out of Slavery in Goshen, Kentucky. She took offense to “dark family secret” as it was a play on the darker color of my skin and some members of my Negro race descended family. I now have direct contact with descendants of the slave who bore my great-great grandfather and they all have the average Negro attributes just like Mattie, with the kinky hair, negroid features of the face, and skin town, albeit that Mattie is a light skinned girl, like coffee and cream, not ashy Black like some of my family.
I embrace with love all my family and I’m proud of my Black African heritage and I will shout it from the rooftops. Do you know that Moses in the Bible took Black wife and the Israelites grumbled and G-d punished them for their racism. King Solomon was half white/half Black as his father was King David and Bathsheba a very dark Ethiopian Negress. People need to get over their idiotic racism because G-d will punish you for it like his did Aaron and his sister who mocked Mose’s Black wife.
I’m fighting as hard as I can for Mattie even though she is very mentally disturbed and hateful. I will get to the bottom of this for G-d said there is no sin done in secret that will not be made known and I’m the servant of YHVH and it is not me who lives, but YHVH who in his sonship as Yashau HaMsheekah (Aramaic for the English Yashua the Messiah) lives in me. I love the Creator who made me and I am His slave/servant because He has been so good to me and blessed my life beyond measure, even when I was not deserving, but as we know the Scripture says, “Those whom he foreknew he predestined”. His hands formed me in my mother’s womb and His hand(s) have never ceased to be guiding me. Allah Akbar — G-d is great. Oh, for you uneducated folks, Elohim is the same as Allahim. Eloah and Allah are the same words. I know this how? Because I lived in Israel and the country of Jordan in 1998. The Christians in Israel say “Allah”, not “God” which is of the German language. Learn something people in love. 🙂
Let’s see who else do we have that are demonically driven…There is Laura Marx my niece and her daughters who are involved in witchcraft and we all know what the Bible says about those involved in witchcraft….
There’s my relation’s through my great grandmother’s sister Catherine Gaylord who are the Taylors of Indianapolis. Chelsey Taylor started out being nice, but then got nasty with me, and her mother who is not a Gaylord descendant, but married Doug Taylor my family member.
Chelsey’s mother instructed all her kids to block me on Facebook because they didn’t want to hear the truth that the “J’esus” they imagine was actually born Jewish to Jewish parent’s Yosef and Maria. They reject that and reject the son’s real name of Yashua as instructed of the angel Gabriel in the Bible they claim to read. How do people get so messed up believing lies? I converted to being Jewish in the year 2000 because I just felt lead to do so and only found out in 2020 I was actually born Jewish to begin with, but my family covered it up because they were ashamed to be Jewish like they were ashamed to be part Negro. I’m not ashamed.
TO BE CONTINUED…. and believe me this will be continued. There are more names and sins to be exposed in this family who has treated me hatefully. “You will be hated of all men for my namesake”… the words of Yashua the Messiah….