Why I Don’t Ask For Donations

The false teachers of Christianity deceitfully claim the tithe that Yahuah ONLY gave to the Levites to support them. The Re-Newed Testament/Covenant Scripture make no instruction on tithing because it should be OBVIOUS that the Levital priesthood was a “type and shadow” of the Messiah that was to come that would become our High Priest and ultimate blood sacrifice for sin. When Yahu’sha our Messiah finished the work of Atonement for our sins it brought an OFFICIAL END TO THE LEVITICAL PRIESTHOOD and those tithes were NOT directed to go anywhere else in Scripture. Even the first fruits offering fulfilled by Yahu’sha so that is no longer valid. If you want to financially support through a donation to a ministry who is preaching the “If you love me, keep my Commandments” that Yahuah in the flesh as Messiah Yahu’sha commanded us then then you are doing a correct thing. Also, we are to bless Israel. You can bless the Jews and Israel by donating directly to the Israel National Food Bank. Don’t donate or give tithes to these television money grubbers who are living off your donations and tithes that you give in error. They live in resplendent luxury. Investigate these false teachers live, it’s easy online. Anyone teaching that we do not have to keep the Law as Yahu’sha said, “The truth is not in him”. Only support the true Wise Virgin teachers of truth who teach the true Holy/Kodesh names and never use the pagan deity false names that actually invoke Satan as they are the Foolish Virgins that are destined for the Lake of Fire if they do not fill their empty lamps with truth before they die or the time of the second coming rapture that takes place after the select “thief in the night” rapture. The redeemed Foolish Virgin rapture will take place at the end of the Tribulation when Yahu’sha comes in the clouds of great glory and “Every eye shall see him” and “They will look upon the One they pierced and they will mourn for Him as one morns for an Only Son.”

I depend on God to supply all my needs, not other people. Short and sweet huh? I’ve received some nice gifts over the years for the support of my ministry, but I don’t hawk any outrageously overpriced products like Mystery Babylon does to support their organizations. If Yahuah has put it on someone’s heart that they are to support my ministry with a blessing of financial assistance then that is on them and I’m not allowed to refuse a blessing, but I will never ask for any financial support and well never sell any products, or never offer a free gift just to get you on a mailing list where once I have your name and address I will send you regular and endless mail begging for money like the false teachers of the Foolish Virgin masses do.

I would suggest you donate to charities like helping your local war veterans of which there are various organizations I have a neighbor that is a war veteran that our United States government will not pay for nursing home care that he needs because he can’t even get out of bed but maybe twice a day to use the facilities and eat. I am horrified by this and I’m working on doing something to stop this abuse of our War Veterans. There are many charities that help to feed the starving people around the world, Saint Judes Childrens Hospital, the Natural Law Defense fund, etc., etc.

I wouldn’t mind being rich, but I’m not gonna do it by fleecing the flock like the false prophets and wolves in sheeps clothing do so they can live in a mansion and drive fancy cars. and have fine works priceless art in their home like has been documented about false teacher Dr. Joyce Meyers who lives in resplendent luxury when the “J-Esus” she preaches had no place to lay his head. Yahusha HaMoshiach had nice clothing, but that was about it. No cars, no jewels, no pool attached to a mansion. He was a humble frum Jew. You should try it sometime.

The Father has sent some my way that were moved by His spirit to meet certain ministry financial needs, and lodging, and other basic necessities of my life, but that, as I said was because they were moved by the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) to do so. Again, my ministry never asks for donations, support, and I do not sell the gospel or products for money. Freely I have been given and freely I give to you.


Yosef Ben David

IN THE BEGINNINGS… Yosef Ben David’s mini bio and website history

“In the Beginning Elohim created Adam in His own image. Male and female He created Adam.” ~ Genesis 5:2 This is the literal Hebrew translation into English. You may be used to the fake news translation. Learn Hebrew.

In 1964 my beginning started with me having a different chromosome pattern than most people. I’m not a normal XY male, but I’m blessed by our Creator who formed me in the womb with an XO/XY Mosaic chromosome pattern, a blend of male and female. “Intersexed” is the polite modern medical term for this chromosomal condition. “Hermaphrodite” is the outdated term. It wasn’t an easy way to grow up with a body that was different, and it lead me to make and agonizing decision in my teenage years that didn’t happen until I was brought to the point of being hospitalized for a suicidal episode where I had something called and NDE (Near Death Experience).

Just real quick, my NDE story in a nutshell…. I overdosed on sleeping pills because I wanted out of this life as I could not perceive any good future for myself as male (or as female). As I laid in bed I lost consciousness and that’s when I had my NDE. In an instant of going from consciousness to unconsciousness I was aware of being in a vast expanse of nothing that I perceived as total darkness. Then, I witnessed a pinpoint spark of white light in the darkness that grew in size as it came closer to me and I heard what I perceived as a male voice say to me, “If you do this you will never have a chance to be happy.” ~ The End

It was the end of my Near Death Experience. Nothing big. No glimpses of Heaven, or Hell. Just darkness, a light in the distance and a voice giving me a warning. Nothing dramatic or lengthy enough to write a money-making best seller about. It was all over about as quick as it began lasting only seconds it seemed, but it had a big impact. I jolted back into consciousness with that voice still ringing in my ears and it had scared the shit of me because it was real. It wasn’t like any dream I’d ever had. I was shaken to the point of abandoning my suicide plan. I picked up the phone next to the bed to call my mother who was at work at our family business, but then I sat the phone back down because after having a minute or two to call down the deep pain of this life was still there and I wanted out. Who cared about happiness. I wanted the pain to end so I hung up the phone and didn’t call. The shaking of the NDE I’d just had was undeniable and I asked myself who was that speaking to me? I couldn’t say. All I knew was the voice sounded male and even to this day I can’t tell you who it may have been even if my multiple choice answer could have included a guardian angel, The Savior, G-d, or whoever. All I knew is it shook me to the core and I knew I was beginning to feel like I was going to lapse back into unconsciousness.

I picked up the phone again and this time spoke to my mother. It was a strange conversation that consisted of me telling my mom that I just wanted to call to tell her I loved her and that was all and I hung up. I wondered if she thought that peculiar. I had chickened out. I still wanted to die, but at least my mom would have the memory that I cared enough to tell her I loved her before I left this world.

I gave it a couple minutes. I feared my mother would call back worrying that there was something funny going on with me, but there was no call back. Then I thought that maybe that voice I heard was letting me know if I lived that things were going to get better for me and I’d finally find some happiness? Yes, that had to be it. I picked up the phone again and called my mother and told her what I’d done. I don’t remember hanging up the phone. I lapsed into unconsciousness again and the next thing I knew my older brother was shaking me and lifted me out of the bed and put me in the car and he and my mother took me to the hospital emergency room that was only blocks from our home.

After a two-weeks stay in the psychiatric ward for trying to kill myself I returned home and realized I had hit rock bottom and nearly died so there was nothing left to lose. I plucked up the courage and said to myself, “I have nothing to live for and I almost died. I feel dead inside. I’m don’t feel comfortable for feel like I fit in this world as a male who feels torn between two sexes. Now, this is gonna sound funny to some, but I told myself, “I don’t care if I turn out looking like the cartoon character Fred Flintstone in a dress and I have to support myself scrubbing floors on my hands and knees on the graveyard shift the rest of my life, at least maybe I’ll have some peace doing it as female instead of male.

I began taking estrogen my last year of highschool and completed the full physical medical transition to live “as” female in Belgium in May of 1988. I lived that way till the year 2004. When my grandmother passed away in March of 2004 I was already years into a deep disappointment with live “as” a female and not really being a female. I wasn’t happy with a life of illusion and decided to return to live “as” male. I could not escape the fact I was born both male and female, but I knew I’d given living as female a good 20+year run, and the past five years I’d become comfortable with the decision to return to a male presentation.

I was watching the Montel Williams talk show and his guest for the day was a woman who started a website to raise funds so she could divorce her husband called HelpMeDivorceMyHusband.com and in an instant I knew I had to create my own website called HelpMeReverseMySexChange.org. And the rest is history, as they say, right? Now that same website survives, but has a redirect URL: www.LeftBehind.ICU

So, there you have it. If you want to continue reading I’ll tell you more about my life’s back story, and as Paul Harvey used to say on his radio show, “And now, for the rest of the story”…

My maternal great grandmother, Emma Rachel Gaylord-Horstmann who passed when I was young was the daughter of Charles Judah Gaylord, Jr. born in 1852, the result of my 3rd great grandfather fathering him with an Black African slave he owned by the name of Amanda Comee. That makes me 1/32nd Black. Great-great grandfather Gaylord was documented as Mulatto (as all first offspring of a White/Black union were branded. His children with White Scottish great-great grandmother Susannah Morrison-Gaylord were all documented as Black as was the custom in those times in the post-slavery period in the USA where the One-Drop Rule was enforced in the census documentation done every 10 years in the United States up until the 1920 census when my grandmother and her siblings were all documented as White. Although the children of great grandmother Emma Rachel Horstmann’s were 1/8th Black, and were never documented as such, but instead White that did not mean the people of the area would ever forget the Black ancestry.

My grandmother Mary Katherine Horstmann recalls when she was a girl shortly after the birth of the baby of the family, Henry Horstmann, Jr. their log cabin home in Goshen, Kentucky burned to the ground. She recalls her dad wrapping baby Henry in a blanket and dropping him to the safety of his mother’s arms from the upstairs window before he fled the burning cabin. That was my grandmother’s version of the story I’d always heard, but her sister Irene Horstmann-Kelley had a different story to tell about the night their family cabin burned to the ground.

My mother went through five marriages, my father being her second divorce in 1963 before I was born in April 1964.

To be continued….


Part of this website’s legacy is the help provided to me by Mr. Arthur Goldberg and Mrs. Elaine Berk who co-founded an organization called JONAH (Jews Offering New Alternatives for Healing). They paired therapists with people of various faiths who were experiencing unwanted same-sex attractions. They acted as custodians for my surgery detransition fund.

Arthur and Elaine became friends. More than that they were people who extended love and caring towards me and my situation. They introduced me to Rabbi Samuel Rosenberg who supported me in so many ways to discover who I AM in God that had been hidden under a heap of lies I’d believed about myself. I was having a very dark night of the soul when my grandmother and father, of blessed memories passed away and all withing the same space of a year I also lost my three dogs, and my cockatiel to illness and old age

I tell myself I am strong, but sometimes that’s just an illusion we create for ourselves so we can hold our head up and not let others know how deeply we are hurting. On top of the five deaths in a year leaving me orphaned and alone I was also a victim of a hate crime assault leaving me afraid to remain in my home so I sold my home and loaded up the truck and I moved to Beverly Hills, California where for the next 7 years I fought my way through the dark night of the soul.

I’d found out I was actually chromosomally intersexed and with my deep grief I was experiencing and this new confusing medical diagnosis I fell into a state of what is called in psychology, “disassociation”. It took me 15 years to recover and find myself again and be full restored by the renewing of my mind by God. I felt as if I had to find my own way, but I wasn’t on my own HalleluYahu! Abba Father quietly took one hand and Yahusha the Mosiach of Israel took the other hand. The next 15 years were not an easy road, but it was all in God’s time and slowly, but surely I was restored by the renewing of my mind…okay lemme hush with all the Scripture references and personal testimony of what the LORD has done for me. I can’t help myself! I love my Abba YHWH and יהושע‎ Yahusha my soon coming King of whom His government there will be no end as He destroys the wicked and their increasingly controlling, unGodly, Marxist Communist One World Order Government.

From what I’ve read on the Internet, in 2012 pro-gay activists had posed as clients and then brought a lawsuit funded by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Arthur and Elaine helped me a lot in my journey of healing. I’d like you to consider making a donation for their legal defense fees at the Natural Law Defense Fund so Arthur and Elaine can be allowed legally to continue to fight the good fight for God without being shut down by the atheist devils.

Thank you for reading this blog post. If you have comments or questions please email me at CompassionThinker (at) gmail dot com.

Yosef’s B4i4get Journal

13 April 2021

Last week I finally received my order from David Austin English Roses. I’d purchased a Roald Dahl shrub rose months ago hoping it would have arrived in January, but due to the COVID planned-demic it didn’t ship till just now. I had written them asking about my order and they explained short staff and COVID delays. I was humbled to open the box and instead of one rose there were two of the roses I ordered. How very nice of David Austin, Jr. to be so kind to his customers who like myself who have been agonizing over such an extraordinary long wait for our orders. I’ve potted them up and I’ve been shielding them from direct sunlight for the week with some large flour sack cloth tea towels.

Do you drink tamarind juice? I’ve watched video’s about tamarind juice decalcifying the pineal gland aka the third eye that helps you connect with G_d. It’s easy to make it homemade. I just crush the seed pod covering and soak the pods overnight in water. The next day the dried fruit covering the seeds in the pod gets soft and you just used your hand to squish it all up and then push it all through a wire strainer. The seeds and the pod hulls strain out and you get a viscous juice rendered that tastes very earthy and tangy. I just drink it straight. Some people may need to sweeten it with some other fruit juice like pineapple if they are not used to eating earthy foods for the health of it.

1 April 2021 – April Fool’s Day

Having been born in the month of April I always thought of April Fool’s Day as a holiday just for me since I’ve been (and continue to be) a fool in this earthbound experience. I am thankful that G_d loves the foolish things of this world.

I haven’t posted here because I’ve been dedicating my time to work and other projects, but this morning I received a painful reminder of why I should be journaling just for myself and whoever out there in the universe who may be reading. I was outside at dawn (as usual) watering my potted plants on the patio when I noticed my blackberries were budding and just about to begin bursting into bloom.

Immediately I thought of my grandmother of blessed memory. She would always mark the progression of the seasons by whatever was blooming at a certain time and this time of year she would always call “blackberry and locust bloom”. Every year it was like a right of passage that she would announce “blackberry and locust bloom”.

That cherished memory became very painful this morning because I couldn’t directly remember her saying. I couldn’t remember what bloom was partnered with blackberry blooms. By not remembering right away it was like my grandmother’s voice in my head that I can still hear as if she were here was beginning to be silenced. Was it blackberry and dogwood bloom? No, it wasn’t that, but the correct bloom was not just rolling off my tongue and I immediately broke into tears and had to fumble my way into the house and recompose myself. Thankfully, by the time I had entered the house I remembered it was locust that went along with blackberry.

If you are not familiar with locust it’s a type of tree that gets blooms on it in the spring. Our stand of locust tree’s down along the southeast fence border of the farm were white locusts. They were just there, seeded by nature I assume. Up at the house we had some “golden honey locusts” that my grandmother ordered from a nursery catalog. She wasn’t very pleased with them after she got them, but continued to allow them to grow in the fence line in front of the house.

23 March 2019 – The New Blog Begins

This website originally began back in 2004 before all the “Go Fund Me” type pages existed. You may have found this website under that original infamous name www.HelpMeReverseMySexchange.org or it’s newer name www.LeftBehind.ICU

With the new focus of this website I’ve done a lot of house cleaning. As I stated on my home page, my personal history is important to my testimony and faith, but I try to keep talk about myself to a minimum. I must decrease while Yeshua increases.

If you see articles come and go it’s because I’m trying to keep the website message clear and concise with some specific articles and not a lot of clutter. Because I am one of those “foolish things of this world” I tend to collect clutter and have to clean house and organize on a regular basis. There is so much to keep up with in my life outside of website life. Sorry if I deleted an article you wanted to see.

Just a tiny bit of back story so you can get a mini bio in a nutshell about me. I was born intersexed both physically and chromosomally with a XO/XY Mosaicism chromosome pattern. My physical body was born neither completely male or completely female, and because the doctors said I’d never be able to have children of my own as female the decision was made to do surgery at 8 months so I’d be all male, or at least that’s what they hoped back in the day’s when doctors felt our internal sense of gender was simply created by nurture, not nature. Well, they were wrong. Gender awareness is a physical and spiritual thing, not a matter of nurture.

I could never fit in as an average and unremarkable boy. My chromosomes were making sure of that. We just don’t get handed boy stuff and magically genderize into boys. There is more to it than that and my life story is a testimony to that.

If my young years weren’t bad enough, along came puberty and my breasts began to grow along with larger hips and bottom making me too shapely looking for a boy. I was so confused as to why my body was doing this on top of feeling like I wasn’t 100% boy like I should be. I remember going for my physical exam before summer youth camp when I was 13 and I asked the doctor why my chest was like this. He told me it happens to 4 out 9 boys when they go through puberty and it’s nothing to worry about and should go away in a year. I never went away and neither did the nagging feeling I was somehow a cosmic mix of male and female in one body, but how I wished I could just be a normal boy and fit in.

So, there’s the back story in a nutshell. Four years later I had a suicide attempt and my issues were confronted by the psychologist in the hospital and that began what would become a lifelong relationship with therapists, not just because of my gender dysphoria, but because I also entered the medical field myself for psychology and sociology.

I was never told of my intersex status as a kid. I was never told my White 3rd great grandfather sired a son through a slave born in 1852 that was my 2nd great grandfather Charles Gaylord. I was never told that his wife was a Scottish Jew named Susannah Morrison, maternal 2nd great grandmother. I was never told all my ancestors through my mother’s father were Jewish either.

I transitioned physically to live as female my last year of high school and lived as female till I was 40-years-old before deciding it had all been a poor decision based on poor medical advice. Had I grown up with a Jewish education I would have understood my identity issues as a product of reincarnation bleed-over. G-d has His reasons why I went through all the mishigas (craziness) and it was to become wiser through the experiences so I regret nothing. Everything unfolded according to the Master plan.

So, here I am living reasonably and helping people to unravel the mysteries of G-d. I’m helping Christians to wake up and realize they have been asleep at the wheel and their lives are about sink on the S.S. Satantic Whore of Babylon–the Whore/Harlot system created by Rome along with it’s false Law is dead and nailed to the cross false Messiah. Wake up Christians! Study to show yourself approved. The Messiah was Jewish and had a Jewish name, not a Greek/Roman/Latinized name. Know that G-d Himself incarnated into human form when he visited and talked with Abraham about destroying Sodom and Gomorrah. G-d re-incarnated when He wrestled with Jacob who became Israel after that wrestling match with G-d that he survived, and finally G-d re-incarnated Himself once more in the person of Yeshua the Messiah.

None of us down here really know how to describe this indescribable being known as G-d, Elohim, Alahim, Eloah, Allah, YHVH. Obviously, He is not of this world that defines Him as an extra-terrestrial, so get over it and know that He loves you and knows what is best for you as your loving Abba Father. Pick up your cross and follow me because G-d is with me. Put off the old man and put on the new man.

I’ve put off the old website and put on the new website. I will not forsake the LGBT people who are confused about their identity and are going the wrong way. They are no more or no less G-d’s children who are addicted to sin just like many of the rest of us have been or were before we finally gave G-d an inch in our lives and He took a mile! Thank G-d for G-d being so generous when we cry out to Him, right! Give and inch to G-d and get a mile back! Woooowhoooo!!!!

I really hope everyone will find something they need on this website. It’s focus is the “Plan B” for the Foolish Virgins of Christianity that miss the Bridegroom and the wedding because of their embracing of iniquity (Lawlessness). I hope the gender dysphoric and the homosexual’s can also know the truth about their re-incarnation issues and break free from their bondage to sin and find their true identity in G-d.

Happy reading!