13 April 2021
Last week I finally received my order from David Austin English Roses. I’d purchased a Roald Dahl shrub rose months ago hoping it would have arrived in January, but due to the COVID planned-demic it didn’t ship till just now. I had written them asking about my order and they explained short staff and COVID delays. I was humbled to open the box and instead of one rose there were two of the roses I ordered. How very nice of David Austin, Jr. to be so kind to his customers who like myself who have been agonizing over such an extraordinary long wait for our orders. I’ve potted them up and I’ve been shielding them from direct sunlight for the week with some large flour sack cloth tea towels.
Do you drink tamarind juice? I’ve watched video’s about tamarind juice decalcifying the pineal gland aka the third eye that helps you connect with G_d. It’s easy to make it homemade. I just crush the seed pod covering and soak the pods overnight in water. The next day the dried fruit covering the seeds in the pod gets soft and you just used your hand to squish it all up and then push it all through a wire strainer. The seeds and the pod hulls strain out and you get a viscous juice rendered that tastes very earthy and tangy. I just drink it straight. Some people may need to sweeten it with some other fruit juice like pineapple if they are not used to eating earthy foods for the health of it.
1 April 2021 – April Fool’s Day
Having been born in the month of April I always thought of April Fool’s Day as a holiday just for me since I’ve been (and continue to be) a fool in this earthbound experience. I am thankful that G_d loves the foolish things of this world.
I haven’t posted here because I’ve been dedicating my time to work and other projects, but this morning I received a painful reminder of why I should be journaling just for myself and whoever out there in the universe who may be reading. I was outside at dawn (as usual) watering my potted plants on the patio when I noticed my blackberries were budding and just about to begin bursting into bloom.
Immediately I thought of my grandmother of blessed memory. She would always mark the progression of the seasons by whatever was blooming at a certain time and this time of year she would always call “blackberry and locust bloom”. Every year it was like a right of passage that she would announce “blackberry and locust bloom”.
That cherished memory became very painful this morning because I couldn’t directly remember her saying. I couldn’t remember what bloom was partnered with blackberry blooms. By not remembering right away it was like my grandmother’s voice in my head that I can still hear as if she were here was beginning to be silenced. Was it blackberry and dogwood bloom? No, it wasn’t that, but the correct bloom was not just rolling off my tongue and I immediately broke into tears and had to fumble my way into the house and recompose myself. Thankfully, by the time I had entered the house I remembered it was locust that went along with blackberry.
If you are not familiar with locust it’s a type of tree that gets blooms on it in the spring. Our stand of locust tree’s down along the southeast fence border of the farm were white locusts. They were just there, seeded by nature I assume. Up at the house we had some “golden honey locusts” that my grandmother ordered from a nursery catalog. She wasn’t very pleased with them after she got them, but continued to allow them to grow in the fence line in front of the house.
23 March 2019 – The New Blog Begins
This website originally began back in 2004 before all the “Go Fund Me” type pages existed. You may have found this website under that original infamous name www.HelpMeReverseMySexchange.org or it’s newer name www.LeftBehind.ICU
With the new focus of this website I’ve done a lot of house cleaning. As I stated on my home page, my personal history is important to my testimony and faith, but I try to keep talk about myself to a minimum. I must decrease while Yeshua increases.
If you see articles come and go it’s because I’m trying to keep the website message clear and concise with some specific articles and not a lot of clutter. Because I am one of those “foolish things of this world” I tend to collect clutter and have to clean house and organize on a regular basis. There is so much to keep up with in my life outside of website life. Sorry if I deleted an article you wanted to see.
Just a tiny bit of back story so you can get a mini bio in a nutshell about me. I was born intersexed both physically and chromosomally with a XO/XY Mosaicism chromosome pattern. My physical body was born neither completely male or completely female, and because the doctors said I’d never be able to have children of my own as female the decision was made to do surgery at 8 months so I’d be all male, or at least that’s what they hoped back in the day’s when doctors felt our internal sense of gender was simply created by nurture, not nature. Well, they were wrong. Gender awareness is a physical and spiritual thing, not a matter of nurture.
I could never fit in as an average and unremarkable boy. My chromosomes were making sure of that. We just don’t get handed boy stuff and magically genderize into boys. There is more to it than that and my life story is a testimony to that.
If my young years weren’t bad enough, along came puberty and my breasts began to grow along with larger hips and bottom making me too shapely looking for a boy. I was so confused as to why my body was doing this on top of feeling like I wasn’t 100% boy like I should be. I remember going for my physical exam before summer youth camp when I was 13 and I asked the doctor why my chest was like this. He told me it happens to 4 out 9 boys when they go through puberty and it’s nothing to worry about and should go away in a year. I never went away and neither did the nagging feeling I was somehow a cosmic mix of male and female in one body, but how I wished I could just be a normal boy and fit in.
So, there’s the back story in a nutshell. Four years later I had a suicide attempt and my issues were confronted by the psychologist in the hospital and that began what would become a lifelong relationship with therapists, not just because of my gender dysphoria, but because I also entered the medical field myself for psychology and sociology.
I was never told of my intersex status as a kid. I was never told my White 3rd great grandfather sired a son through a slave born in 1852 that was my 2nd great grandfather Charles Gaylord. I was never told that his wife was a Scottish Jew named Susannah Morrison, maternal 2nd great grandmother. I was never told all my ancestors through my mother’s father were Jewish either.
I transitioned physically to live as female my last year of high school and lived as female till I was 40-years-old before deciding it had all been a poor decision based on poor medical advice. Had I grown up with a Jewish education I would have understood my identity issues as a product of reincarnation bleed-over. G-d has His reasons why I went through all the mishigas (craziness) and it was to become wiser through the experiences so I regret nothing. Everything unfolded according to the Master plan.
So, here I am living reasonably and helping people to unravel the mysteries of G-d. I’m helping Christians to wake up and realize they have been asleep at the wheel and their lives are about sink on the S.S. Satantic Whore of Babylon–the Whore/Harlot system created by Rome along with it’s false Law is dead and nailed to the cross false Messiah. Wake up Christians! Study to show yourself approved. The Messiah was Jewish and had a Jewish name, not a Greek/Roman/Latinized name. Know that G-d Himself incarnated into human form when he visited and talked with Abraham about destroying Sodom and Gomorrah. G-d re-incarnated when He wrestled with Jacob who became Israel after that wrestling match with G-d that he survived, and finally G-d re-incarnated Himself once more in the person of Yeshua the Messiah.
None of us down here really know how to describe this indescribable being known as G-d, Elohim, Alahim, Eloah, Allah, YHVH. Obviously, He is not of this world that defines Him as an extra-terrestrial, so get over it and know that He loves you and knows what is best for you as your loving Abba Father. Pick up your cross and follow me because G-d is with me. Put off the old man and put on the new man.
I’ve put off the old website and put on the new website. I will not forsake the LGBT people who are confused about their identity and are going the wrong way. They are no more or no less G-d’s children who are addicted to sin just like many of the rest of us have been or were before we finally gave G-d an inch in our lives and He took a mile! Thank G-d for G-d being so generous when we cry out to Him, right! Give and inch to G-d and get a mile back! Woooowhoooo!!!!
I really hope everyone will find something they need on this website. It’s focus is the “Plan B” for the Foolish Virgins of Christianity that miss the Bridegroom and the wedding because of their embracing of iniquity (Lawlessness). I hope the gender dysphoric and the homosexual’s can also know the truth about their re-incarnation issues and break free from their bondage to sin and find their true identity in G-d.